"And the full name of that one-horse arse hole of the universe is Little Sprodwell under Fosse - God help us all!" I beg your pardon, Professor, but I have this on the very best authority. The trouble with you locals is you can't see the wood for the trees. You are blind to the treasures to be found in your own back yard." Bollocks, if you will excuse the repetition, Professor! This particular shindig is as phoney and ersatz as it comes. Believe me, I know! The presiding genius is a relative of mine - the black sheep of the family and a total charlatan to boot! But, what the Hell? It'll be a nice day out and a goodly display of female flesh can be practically guaranteed if I know anything of the Colonel, the disgusting lecher - bless his rotten old heart!"Professors Johnson and Hackenbacker looked at their silent Teutonic colleague. This learned and weary Viennese gentleman shrugged his acquiescence - the first indication on his part for some time that he was actually awake. A visit. When I woke up I was in the middle of the pool fully exposed. I lifted my head to glance at the window and noticed one of the slats in the window was lifted up. Then it dropped back into place.“Holy shit,” I thought, “someone's watching me.” I slid off the float and looked around for my suit. It had drifted to the other end of the pool. Oh well, whoever was watching had already got an eyeful while I was asleep. I swam down to the other end in full view of the voyeur and got dressed. Later that afternoon, I was curious to see who had watched me. When I went out to get the mail, a middle-aged man came out of the house. I said “Hi” and he did as well, not really noticing me or anything. That was odd. I figured he'd have a shit-eating grin on his face. He wasn't bad looking, or really handsome either. Just an average middle-aged guy. The next day I figured I'd put on a show for this guy. I decided to leave the suit inside the house and over cover myself with a towel. Once at the pool, I.
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